October 26, 2005

A Victory for ... Whom, Exactly?

So McDonalds is going to start putting nutritional information right on the packaging of its food, huh? And this is some kind of a victory for the fast-food-eating public, huh?

It is a victory for lazy people. It's a victory for people who can't be bothered to turn over the tray liner and read the nutritional information there. It is a victory for people who can't be bothered to head over to McDonalds' web site and check the nutritional information out there. My favorite is the Bag a McMeal -- you can pick out what you're going to eat, and find out exactly how terrible it is for you.

See, I can't imagine people thinking that McDonald's means nutrition. Even before "Super Size Me," I pretty much took it for granted that my Big Mac and large fries were contributing directly to the hardening of my arteries and the expansion of my gut. Look at the grease that stays on fast food (even after it's been sitting for a while, most burgers will glisten) -- and people are amazed that the stuff is bad for them???

But McDonald's is getting some bad press, so they're doing damage control. And people will pay about as much attention to this "new information" as they ever have (you do know that it's been available for the asking in every McDonald's for a long time, don't you?). This is only a victory for the people who can't be bothered to take responsibility for their actions; the people who want to blame everyone else for their obesity.

I am overweight. I am not overweight because McDonald's duped me into eating their food -- I don't do McDonald's much at all. It's directly the result of my own bad decisions -- I sit around all day, don't exercise the way I need to, and eat stuff that ends up packed around my gut. I have dunlaps disease -- that's where your belly dun-laps over your belt (say it out loud, in a Southern accent, and it's funny. Promise.). I can't sue anyone because I'm overweight.

The next step will probably be a lawyer at every entrance to every McDonald's. Before you eat there, you'll have to sign a waiver, acknowledging that you know that the food you're about to eat is not good for you, and you promise not to sue McDonald's when, after a steady diet of Big Macs, you weigh more than your Chevy S-10. That's where we're headed, folks.

Maybe I should have gone to law school.

Posted by: Warren Kelly at 05:45 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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