So, I'm planning this dinner party to celebrate my return to the KotB competition (a la Teddy Roosevelt) and my subsequent victory (a la Grover Cleveland). And I'm going to invite a few people, and we're going to have a great time -- dinner, conversation, dessert, all that. Now all I have to do is figure out who to invite. . .

I'd invite Songstress, but I'll probably be serving one of her recipes, and I know it won't be nearly as good as it is when she makes it at home. Pietro is probably working late to keep us all safe, or he'd be a definite invite. Harvey isn't judging anymore, but I'd invite him just for the chicks he'd draw. And I need to kiss up to the new guy (who is a new addition to my blogroll, by the way!), so the Ogre would be at the top of the list, too. And you know, they all deserve to be there. But having them all over to my place, and feeding them the wonderful cuisine that my wife and I can prepare would be just SOOOOO unfair to the other pretenders .... Heck, I'll do it anyway. Oh. We only have place-settings for four. Sorry guys. Maybe after I win the crown, we'll go buy some more Chinet.

Let's face it; the point of this dinner is networking. I want to get attention and hits. Who should I invite? The man who wrote the book on blogging, of course -- Hugh Hewitt himself. Pointers AND probably a link -- what could be better?

Since this is clearly fiction (like Hugh Hewitt would show up at my house for dinner. He can get beanie weenies anywhere!), and since I'm really looking for some publicity, I'd probably get in touch with the guy who came up with Apple's 1984 commercial. Think about it -- the commercial says nothing, never even shows you what it's advertizing, and 20 years later is still shown every time they talk about Super Bowl commercials. This guy is a genius -- if he could con people into buying Macintosh computers, he can get people to read my blog.

I've got one more place setting left (unless you count the Dora the Explorer bowl, cup, and silverware as a place setting), so I'm going to go all out and pick someone unexpected. Someone who has never heard of a blog, but would have put them to great use if they had been available in his time -- Thomas Payne. Yea, I don't agree with his outlook on everything -- he's a deist, after all -- but can you imagine what he'd have done with the Internet and a blog? Even the Instapundit his own self would be playing second fiddle to Payne.

And of course they would all tell me how fitting it is for me to be the first King to leave the throne and then return, just like Arthur.

Posted by: Warren Kelly at 10:03 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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