May 22, 2006

This Just In ...

DATELINE: Obscurity, USA.

The Dixie Chicks, realizing that nobody remembered them, have taken it upon themselves to remind us all that they don't like the president.

Not satisfied, apparantly, with the rebuke of country music radio the last time, Natalie Maines and Company have released their latest single, "Not Ready," an apparant message to President Bush that they're not ready to make nice, especially since his approval rating is down.

When informed of this development, President Bush reportedly wept uncontrollably for about an hour, then changed his party affiliation and hired Al Gore to be his image consultant. Dick Cheney reportedly commented "It was those Dixie Chicks. George has always been a fan, and the last stab at him hurt him bad. He was hoping that they'd forgiven him -- he wanted them to play at the GOP convention in '08. He was crushed when he heard the song -- he knew it was aimed at him."

First Lady Laura Bush was unavailable for comment, though rumor has it that she was out having her hair bleached and cut when we attempted to speak with her.

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