Bye, Barney

Don Knotts died today at 81.

In a jailhouse, down in Dixie
Fightin' crime and riskin' lives
Dwelled a Sheriff and his buddy
Pistol Packin' Barney Fife

Oh my darlin', oh my darlin',
Oh my darlin' Barney Fife
He's a deadly crime-stopper
What a copper, Barney Fife

Then one day there come-a-ridin'
Two bad men to rob a bank
But Fife was tricky, a dead-eye dickie
And now they're locked up in the tank

Oh my Barney, oh my Barney
had a jail and couldn't lock it
had one bullet for his pistol
had to keep it in his pocket.

Posted by: Warren Kelly at 07:48 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Fred Phelps Is an Idiot

I think that about covers it. He and his followers are total, complete idiots.

They have awarped sense of God, and a warped interpretation of Scripture. They have missed the purpose of Christ's death, burial, and resurrection. They've missed the purpose of the Church on earth.

Their God is not Jehovah. Their "Christ" is not the Christ of the Bible. And it pains me that they call themselves a "Baptist" church. They bear no resemblance to any historical Baptist church that has ever existed, whether Anabaptist or English Baptist, General or Particular, Sandy Creek or Charlotte.

And in the end, they will have to face the Almighty God they claim to serve, and give an accounting for what they have done. For their hatred. For their bigotry. And they will weep.

Unfortunately, we have to deal with them here. Free speach means just that -- they can run their mouths all they want. But we don't have to listen. That's why this is the last post you'll hear about them, unless they attack me personally.

Posted by: Warren Kelly at 02:53 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Hate Crimes? Depends ...

I've not commented much on the church bombings in Alabama, mainly because information has been sketchy. 10 Baptist churches burned. Some of the churches were predominantly white, so no racism angle. And no reporting of a hate crime.

Read this report in the Boston Globe (I get their RSS feed for Religion stories -- they usually do a decent job there). I encourage you all to read it, but there's one part I just have to quote here:

Suppose that in 2005 unknown hoodlums had firebombed 10 gay bookstores and bars in San Francisco, reducing several of them to smoking rubble. It takes no effort to imagine the alarm that would have spread through the Bay Area’s gay community or the manhunt that would have been launched to find the attackers. The blasts would have been described everywhere as ”hate crimes,” editorial pages would have thundered with condemnation, and public officials would have vowed to crack down on crimes against gays with unprecedented severity.

Suppose that vandals last month had attacked 10 Detroit-area mosques and halal restaurants, leaving behind shattered windows, wrecked furniture, and walls defaced with graffiti. The violence would be national front-page news. On blogs and talk radio, the horrifying outbreak of anti-Muslim bigotry would be Topic No. 1. Bills would be introduced in Congress to increase the penalties for violent ”hate crimes” — no one would hesitate to call them by that term — and millions of Americans would rally in solidarity with Detroit’s Islamic community.

more...

Posted by: Warren Kelly at 01:57 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Breaking News!

AzerbaijanÂ’s weekly Yeni Habar has published cartoons of Jesus Christ and Virgin Mary in response to the cartoons of Prophet Mohammed in Danish and other European countriesÂ’ press.

The first response was, of course, in Italy, where thousands of Christians failed to march on the Azerbaijani Embassy. The throng totally failed to burn anyone in effigy.

Next, we move on to England, where congregants at churches all over the country completely and totally failed to notice the cartoons at all. Hundreds of mosques were left completely intact.

And in the Bible Belt in the United States, thousands of crazed evangelicals showed a surprising amount of unity as they utterly failed to march on state capitals. Hundreds of signs reading "Death to the Blasphemers" and other slogans were totally not held.

And yes, if anyone is wondering, this is satire. I am making fun. Thanks to Scott at The Crusty Curmudgeon for the heads up on this breaking story.

Posted by: Warren Kelly at 04:55 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Kanye West: More Idiocy

So we've seen the Rolling Stone cover. Now Kanye West is shooting his mouth off again.

Cocky rap star KANYE WEST is calling for a revised edition of THE BIBLE, because he thinks he should be a character in it.

The JESUS WALKS hitmaker, who picked up three Grammy Awards last night, feels sure he'd be "a griot" (West African storyteller) in a modern Bible.

He says, "I bring up historical subjects in a way that makes kids want to learn about them. I'm an inspirational speaker.

"I changed the sound of music more than one time... For all those reasons, I'd be a part of the Bible. I'm definitely in the history books already."

(from here)

Not even going to go there, Kanye. Anyone who thinks it's OK to appropriate the image of Christ to sell records (and before you comment, read what I've said about Jesus Junk elsewhere on this blog) doesn't get it. Maybe he should actually read the Bible (especially Matthew 21:12-13), rather than plotting how to get added to it.

Posted by: Warren Kelly at 02:33 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Viva la Differance!!

I've been musing about the turmoil over the now-infamous cartoons in Europe, trying to decide how best to put my own sentiments, and now I've found that someone else has done it for me. Tip o' the hat to Tim Challies. Tim offers a quote from Paul Marten:

Our God is sovereign and will meet out a perfect justice in the great and final judgement. He doesn't need me to burn your house down just because you blaspheme Him. In fact, He calls on me to warn you of your sin and (wonder of all wonders) to urge you to embrace the One you have mocked and disgraced as your own Saviour from sin and its punishment.

And that is the bottom line. Christians get upset when our faith is mocked and ridiculed (and ponder the irony of the tolerant ones who mock it). Christians will protest to the powers that be. We will boycot. But save in the isolated examples of a few whack-jobs that decided to demonstrate their pro-life sentiments by killing someone, we don't kill people over it. Haven't since the Inquisition (and before you start on THAT -- my forefathers were killed in those, too. My spiritual heritage includes a lot of Lollard blood.). We follow closely the words of the apostle Paul in Romans

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be conceited. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
(Romans 12:14-21 ESV)

Posted by: Warren Kelly at 06:34 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I Call It ... The Last Temptation of Christ Syndrome

So we're all flying high because 'The Book of Daniel' was cancelled. Never mind it was cancelled because it was a bad show, and not because Christians complained about it -- we'll take it as a victory, mainly because nobody cares enough to disagree with us.

Now, 'Will and Grace' is trying to get the evangelical "Stamp of Evilness" affixed to their latest effort:

Britney Spears will guest star on an episode of "Will & Grace," NBC announced Tuesday.

The pop star will appear as a Christian conservative sidekick to Sean Hayes' character, Jack, who hosts his own talk show, on the April 13 episode, the network said.

Jack's fictional network, Out TV, is bought by a Christian TV network, leading to Spears contributing a cooking segment called "Cruci-fixin's."

I'm used to the GOP pandering to Christians. I'm not used to Hollywood doing it.

Don't get me wrong -- I don't think the folks at 'Will and Grace' like us at all. (Don't really care what they think about me, but that's another post.) And they're hoping that we'll hate them now more than ever, and will demand boycotts and everything, so that maybe someone will say "Hey -- those evangelicals don't like that show very much. Must be pretty good! Think I'll tune in."

We need to get a clue. There is no such thing as bad publicity to a TV show. All they care about is that we spell the name right, and link to the web site. The less attention we pay to the idiots in Hollywood who want a reaction from us, the better off everyone will be.

After all, it was our complaining that led them to even think about airing 'The Book of Daniel' to begin with.

Posted by: Warren Kelly at 04:52 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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